35-year-old tries to hide infidelity from family by saying her husband is leaving her due to weight gain, he sets the record straight behind her back: ‘They thought I was shallow’

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Aug 11, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Not feeling comfortable in your body is the worst feeling. Be it from weight gain, weight loss, or another unexpected change, it can be incredibly difficult to deal with because there really is no way to escape your body and the feeling of living inside of it. You must either make an active effort to do something in order to change your body to a state you're comfortable with, or make peace with the changes; either option has its challenges. If you find yourself struggling to adjust to your body's fluctuations, it is best to talk about it with a professional to create a game plan and take things as slowly as possible. Either way, the road to feeling "okay" can be long and difficult.

Weight gain usually comes with the territory after having a baby; even my mother, the most confident woman I know, struggled with feeling like herself for years after having me. Despite her struggles, she never used her low self-esteem to sabotage her marriage. However, other people out there will point at just about anything to avoid taking accountability for their actions.

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my in-laws we're getting divorced because my wife cheated on me since they thought I was leaving her because of her weight?

    Two men having a difficult conversation
    via SolStock from Getty Images Signature
  • 02
    I (35m) thought I was getting everything I ever wanted with my wife. (35f) when we were in our late 20s. I truly love her both when she was thin
    via u/AnxiousPermission883
  • 03
    and now that she's plus-sized. She became plus-sized during her pregnancy and I was still hot for her.
    via u/AnxiousPermission883
  • 04
    Upset woman hunched over on a couch, face in her hands, next to a scale
    via charliepix from charliepix

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    But she hated her new body, and she felt ugly despite all my compliments. Over the years, she gained more weight and felt worse about herself. More recently, she cheated on me.
    via u/AnxiousPermission883
  • 06
    She had felt so low about herself she wanted to see if men who "didn't have to love her" would find her
    via u/AnxiousPermission883
  • 07
    I "didn't have to love her" because we have a child together, I love her because she's her. We're getting a divorce and I wanted the process to be peaceful. But my in-laws, especially my mother-in-law (57f),
    via u/AnxiousPermission883
  • 08
    were giving me h I because they thought I was this shallow j was leaving his wife because she who
    via u/AnxiousPermission883
  • 09
    gained weight during pregnancy. I was confronted by her parents, again, I told them the truth. Now my in-laws.
    via u/AnxiousPermission883
  • 10
    are giving my wife h I and she's miserable. I don't want her to be miserable, I just wanted my in-laws off my case. Am I the ah le?
    via u/AnxiousPermission883
  • 11
    Woman behind a rainy window gazing at a wedding ring as if in contemplation
    via Motortion from Getty Images

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 12
    Catfish1960 No, you are not the AH, your wife is though. She lied to her parents about why the marriage ended. Instead of getting the therapy she obviously needs, she CHOSE to cheat.
    via u/Catfish1960
  • 13
    SoleneShines NTA she cheated and then lied about it. You're allowed to correct the record.
    via u/SoleneShines
  • 14
    AnxiousPermission883 OP Given how my wife's self-esteem is so low, she may honestly believe that's why we're giving divorced.
    via u/AnxiousPermission883
  • 15
    She's so convinced that I'm not attracted to her anymore, and I had fallen out of love for her. No amount of evidence has been able to convince her otherwise.
    via u/AnxiousPermission883

  • Low self-esteem is not an excuse for cheating, but maybe she is rationalizing her behavior in this way. Having her entire family believe her lie and constantly validate that narrative was definitely not helping her, either. 

  • 16
    Measuring tape on the ground and a woman standing on a scale in the background
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 17
    Material-Dot7684 NTA. Most likely wifey told them that to get the heat off of wife. While not telling them the truth is fair, she can't make you the bad guy like that or you
    via u/Material-Dot7684
  • 18
    have a right to defend yourself. My ex cheated on me and I warned her in advance I won't tell anyone unless you start trashing me, if you do, the truth will come out.
    via u/Material-Dot7684
  • 19
    NTA ProfileInfamous1953 Hopefully the divorce will not take too long and you can put this all behind you and live a better life.
    via u/ProfileInfamous1953
  • 20
    I hope your stbx gets the help they need so they can be good and healthy at coparenting. They need to make the child more of a priority, a lot more than whether or not random people find them
    via u/ProfileInfamous1953
  • 21
    pigandpom NTA. Your wife was willing to make you the villain in order to gain sympathy from people, you just
    via u/pigandpom
  • 22
    cleared the air and set the story straight. Better to have the truth out there before the narrative she spun becomes the story everyone believes
    via u/pigandpom

  • Her lies were nothing more than an invitation for him to tell the truth! She did this to herself. 

  • 23
    door-stool You defended against lies with the truth!
    via u/door-stool
  • 24
    RevolutionaryDiet686 NTA Cheaters and liars always get caught eventually.
    via u/RevolutionaryDiet686
  • 25
    marcaygol And both never accept responsibility.
    via u/marcaygol
  • 26
    Life-Wealth-3399 NTA- if she chooses lie about you, you have every right to correct that lie. She brought the h I on herself first by cheating then by lying.
    via u/Life-Wealth-3399
  • 27
    Federal-Night5305 NTA. They were trashing your character and you just corrected them. I feel bad that she's struggling
    via u/Federal-Night5305
  • 28
    with her self esteem but that's not an excuse to cheat. Hope she gets the therapy she needs and I hope you get the peace you need.
    via u/Federal-Night5305

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family drama marriage wife married life relationships husband body image cheating couples divorce cheater mother in law love family
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